I feel emotion. Boy, do I feel emotion. I don’t always express it in an outward fashion, but there’s always something going on in this little peabrain of mine. I don’t like to just “go through the motions.” Afterall, what is life without the ups and downs of happiness and subsequent sadness? I’ll tell you what it is…It’s death. I’m sure you’ve all experienced people in their life that go about their daily activities with the same routine. Same TV shows. Same meals. Same everything. While I’m definitely a creature of certain OCD habits (most training athletes are, are we not??) I attempt to do everything with emotion…with heart. It’s exhausting, it’s exhilarating, it’s painful, it’s joyous, it’s worth it, it’s so NOT worth it, it fills me with a sense of accomplishment and it makes me feel inadequate. Not matter what my accomplishment, I never really know my complete potential. There’s always someone faster and that “someone” is usually the person inside of me that is constantly pushing me to the next event. Sometimes, I get so damn frustrated with myself because I never really let myself live in the moment. While I should be lavishing the fact that I’m going to Boston in 2-months to get my coveted jacket, I’m too busy with intense focus on every workout. Run harder. stretch. Eat Better. Sleep More. Work the Core. It doesn’t help that I’m also simultaneously laying the groundwork for my June Half-Ironman. Instead of resting after a 20 mile training run, I’m thinking about a bike ride or a swim. Sometimes, I lose the “heart” of what I’m doing. I’m always searching for the next PR. It hit me today that I have to reframe my definition of “PR.”
Instead of “personal record,” my new definition of PR is now “personal revelation.”
Somedays my new “PR” may not be a fast time at all. In fact, it may be the worst run ever, but as long as I live and train with “heart,” every day will be a “PR” day for me.
Today, my “PR” was about trying to find balance in life. We always associate that with people who are workaholics–people who will work all hours of the day and still never feel like they’re getting ahead. These are the same people that don’t balance enough time with friends, family and fitness because they’re always focused on work. It hit me as I was having my pre-swim workout glass of wine (not recommended) with my friends Kim of Texas Monthly Magazine and Jane from Kolar Advertising Agency that there is a such thing as being out of balance the OTHER way. Right now, at this point in my world, I feel like a workout-aholic. Everything comes second to the training regimen. Instead of having some idle time, I’m usually thinking of ways to fill it with a quick run or a quick weight session. I’m now on a mission for some balance. I want to spend more time with friends (and not a quick drink before the next workout–did I mention that I don’t recommend it?), family and even work. I want to stay up past 10:00pm. I’m dying to see some live music again. This is Austin, afterall. Balance…the word itself brings me peace. Now, if only it would bring me a few more hours of the day so that I could find it.
Workouts: 6am 7 mile recovery run (8:40 pace), Swim workout with drills and a little pacing. (approx 1400m)
5:20am whole wheat with PBJ
9:20am oatmeal with Blueberrues, minute maid raspberry passion
11:30am apple, water
2:00pm two hummus/tabouli tacos, 1 whole wheat tortilla, side salad, diet coke
1/2 tall non-fat latte
5:15pm Glass of Shiraz and a couple or tortilla chips
6:45pm Old School Power Bar which became my dinner before Swim Class