There may be some people (women in particular) who disagree with what I’m going to say, but I have found the best invention EVER (and batteries aren’t even required.)
(drum roll please) Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome THE FURMINATOR!!
If you have a dog or cat that sheds, then THIS is the tool for you!! Oh my God, my cat lost two pounds of undercoat after just one brushing! It is like going to the kitty spa day and coming home a completely different animal. He felt lighter, he felt prettier and by golly, he started acting sweeter and more playful. It’s amazing how different our attitude can be when we feel GOOD!!
Of course, it got me thinking about how life would be if there was a human equivalent of the furminator for all aspects of our life. What would you furminate? What undercoat would you shed from your life in order to feel happy, healthy, content, light-hearted?
Of course if I could, I’d furminate the hell out of about 6-7 pounds. However, I also realize that feeling happy doesn’t necessarily translate into being thin (Still trying to convince myself of that). I’d also furminate my negative thoughts and self-doubt. I’d brush away my preconceived notions of others. I’d furminate the petrifying fear that keeps me from achieving my goals. I’d furminate my negative attitude towards swimming and I’d be left feeling light, lean and long. I’d furminate my short fuse and lack of patience for people who I assume just exist to drive me crazy.
Of course, I’d love to furminate hatred, war, global warming and poverty, but that would take one hell of a brush. I don’t think even Al Gore could invent something like that.
In the meantime, I’ll think about using the furminator to shed about 10 minutes off my swim time and 10 minutes off of my next marathon.
That would make me purr…no batteries required.