A Glimmer of Hope for All of Us

ME: “HI. My name is Carrie and I’m a Triaholic.”  (or Caddy if your name is Jorge)
Group: “Hi Carrie.”
Me: “Hi. I’m glad to know that Trianon is here because I really need this support group. I mean, at first I was just experimenting, ya know? I just dabbled thinking it would never go anywhere.I was just having a little fun. I mean, I am not the addict-type. I did this little triathlon in 2002 called the Danskin. I wasn’t crazy about it, but I stuck with it nonetheless.”
Group: “So you didn’t even like triathlons…Hmmm…That’s interesting. Why?” 
Me: “Well, I hated swimming first of all and had a big clunker of a bike. How am I supposed to be any good with a 30lb pound bike? Plus, I hate spandex and I hate being slow. I almost didn’t finish that first ever Sprint Triathlon.”
Group: “So then…tell us…How has this gotten so out of hand?”
Me: “O.K., but this is difficult to talk about because I’ve alienated so many people in the process. I used to go out A LOT. Hey, I’m a social person. What can I say? But after this fitness thing kicked in a few years ago, I started ignoring a lot of my ‘going out’ friends. You know the ones. They don’t even recognize me now. I pass them on the street and they look the other way (usually because they’re in their car and I’m running or biking). Instead, I opted to hang out with those fitness fanatics. Yeah–I blame THOSE PEOPLE for driving me to this point.”
Group: “Now Carrie. Part of the Twelve Step Program is Acceptance. You can’t go around blaming people for your addictions.”
Me: “I know, but first it was training with Gazelles and qualifying for Boston. I did that and thought that would be the end. Oh no…I decided I need to do something a little stronger. I’d reached a good marathon tolerance level.  That’s when I decided to do a Half-Ironman, and then another, and then another, and then another. Then, there were the T3 coaches who encouraged me to do an Ironman.  Everywhere I turned, they were tempting me with new workouts, power bars, gu, you name it!  I tried to leave my house and they were on the track! I tried to go to work and had to pass no less than three tri shops!  It’s not fair. They did this to me. I’m like the freakin’ Amy Winehouse of triathletes.”
Group: “Yes, but the decision has always been yours. You could ALWAYS say no, right?”
Me: “I could, but I feel like my life would be much emptier without it. My car smells like a locker room and don’t even notice anymore, my workout clothes take up more space than my work clothes, my new bike is so light and shiny.  It’s just something I can’t quit. I’ve tried and I just-can’t-quit. My life revolves around the high, man.”
Group: “So, how did you finally reach the breaking point and realize this might be a problem?”
Me: “Today-when my husband asked if he could get an Ironman fix too. Now I’m HIS dealer. We’re in deep and there’s no end in sight.”
Group: “Wow…Well, in that case, welcome to TRIANON. You’ll fit right in.” 
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10 thoughts on “A Glimmer of Hope for All of Us

  1. caddy..I think, maybe I am your support leader…. very funny post..but so so true…..so..you are enabling your hubbies fitness-crack habit now, huh????good for you.simple question. do you want to go back to the old carrie?? (I used carrie because carrie would never have gotten a massage by jorge back then) Do you???I didn’t think so… enjoy the insanity

  2. This is hilarious!!hey…I don’t have a problem…I’m just a social triathlete…I do it to relax…I can quit any time I want! (not)I’d say this is a good addiction 🙂

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