Isn’t part of the fun in life the adventure of not really knowing how things are going to play out? Sure, the type A part of me likes to plan everything and then follow that plan step by step to reach the desired outcome (Hello Hour-By-Hour Ironman schedule!) However, as we all know, life isn’t always that neat and who would want it that way really? You don’t learn anything when things always go according to plan. You learn most when you make mistakes, get derailed, have to improvise and put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
As grateful as I am to have a stable and perfect existence (ok–it’s perfect to me at least), I also get a jolt when things are a little messy too because I recognize these bumps as potential growth experiences. They are opportunities to practice patience and excellence.
Mother Teresa (who I saw once while hallucinating during a marathon, but that’s a whole other story) had a quote that said, “I know God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” It makes me laugh to know that benevolent Mother Teresa also had a sense of humor (my kinda gal).
So, lots of things in my world are in that exciting and chaotic stage at the moment. Internally, sometimes I want to panic, shut down, and throw in the towel, but I’m also aware enough to realize how exciting each unfinished adventure is at the moment. Because like everything in life, it will complete itself in one form or another. Sometimes we don’t know what form the finish line will take, but we run the race just the same and hopefully handle the rough spots with dignity, grace and that glorious sense of humor that is missing in so many people these days.
We all know about the self-imposed stress that triathlon training puts on to our bodies and minds. Personally, it’s the mental stress of “fitting it in” that is worse than the physical training. I LOVE working, training and sweating, but I hate looking at the week and forcing myself into 4 bikes, 3 swims, 4-5 runs, core and everything else that comes along with 12-14 workouts a week. It can truly seem overwhelming (because it is), but I also know the reward at the end for maintaining some form of consistency. Believe me, I do stray from the schedule because life’s too short to feel imprisoned to the schedule all of the time.
This week is certainly no exception. We’ve been in rehearsal for three weeks for our two Gag Reflex comedy shows this weekend. I’m not even in a ton of the sketches (because I told them IM training came first), but I’ve been at rehearsal just the same practically every night from 7p-9:30p. It’s been exhilarating and exhausting and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s not like we’re rehearsing for some Broadway caliber show either. It’s just eight people with senses of humor whose creative outlet involves performance and creating laughter. My dream job…
Besides working everyday for “the man” at the agency(actually it’s two awesome women), I’m also still pursuing my business/personal goal of creating our “Dot the M” empire. The ideas and the potential of this apparel and social movement are profound and grow exponentially everyday. Unfortunately, the people that can help me make this happen and get the ball really in motion just don’t feel the same sense of urgency I feel. I’m supposed to be meeting with someone who can really propel this idea soon, but again, I’m at the mercy of their schedule (grrrr…). In the meantime, if anyone has any connections to a film producer, let me know…Rest assured, I continue to work behind the scenes on research and everything else!
So this weekend is the Austin Marathon. I was originally granted entrance to pace my friend Raul to his goal. Unfortunately, the injury gods have not been kind and he wants to build strength for Ironman CDA. Then, I was going to pace my friend Jess to her goal. Well, once again, the injury gods had a different plan for her. Now, I have an entry to the marathon and no real goal. It’s that blurry level of anxiety that says just pick a pace and have fun vs. go out there and see what you can do…The rational answer is very clear. This is NOT my “A” race. It is simply a training run with waterstops, crowd support and a medal at the end. Then, there’s that little devil that is telling me to go out there and create a strategy to try to PR. Unfortunately, this is a pretty challenging course and I don’t think I’ve got a 3:20 in me at the moment. I’m actually still a little beat up from the 3M Half a few weeks ago (and the bikes, swims, core and everything else)…not to mention the fact that I’m supposed to do a 60-mile bike ride sometime this weekend. (see–there’s that hour by hour Ironman schedule again). We’ll see what happens. I’m guessing and hoping it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 3:30-3:40.
FYI–my Guru bike is STILL not back from it’s paint job and it’s been over two months. Jane and Allison have been so nice to lend me their bikes for the last several weeks, but I’m officially over it. Unfortunately, it’s also one of those little things that I spoke of above that are simply out of my control. It could really anger me or I could react how I’ve been reacting and just laugh about it. What can I do really? Jack all but guaranteed I’d have it back this week and I’m waiting patiently for the call. Once again, life doesn’t always follow our schedule of events. We’re always at the mercy of other’s schedules. It’s another lesson in gratitude and patience and I’m now overly grateful for the kindness of others.
So keep those balls in the air and remember that each ball that’s dropped will hopefully bounce right back up into your arms!
P.S. We’re going to Mexico for a long weekend next week so I’ll quit my bitchin’