I was told yesterday that I should begin keeping a “pain journal” so that I can effectively communicate with my doctors exactly where my hip/back pain is concentrated and when, where, and how it manifests. Holy shit! Whatever happened to the days of a sweet love diary, a food journal, or better yet, my humorous and irreverent “Tri to be Funny” blog?! Now, I’m reduced to recording a f*cking Pain Journal?!?! That, in itself, is pretty hilarious. I also find it incredibly counter-intuitive to healing.
I’m a firm believer that we bring about what we think about. We all know that the more attention we give to something (good or bad), the bigger the chance it’s going to happen. When you believe something to be true, it usually becomes true. My friends Leslie, Muna and I (fellow labral tear hipsters) meet for breakfast on a regular basis. Like with most injuries, it’s good to have a support team of people who understand exactly what you’re going through. However, we joke that we actually feel worse when we leave because we’ve spent the previous hour talking about nothing but our pain, our frustrations, our impending surgeries and treatment! Humorous and ironic, but true! Therefore, the last thing I want to give attention to is a pain journal because all that means is that I’m focusing on pain. I’m thinking about it constantly. It wakes me up at night and keeps me up. Where does it hurt? What was I doing? Is it my hip? Back? Piriformis? L5? Sciatic nerve? Do I need a massage? Yoga? PT? Accupuncture? Surgery? Rest? Airrosti? Cortisone? Rolfing? Reiki? I’ve heard them all and I’ve considered them all. I had a follow up with the spine doc yesterday and I’m meeting with potential surgeon #3 next week.
It’s definitely incredibly important to communicate effectively with every health care provider I meet with. I do, after all, put all my faith and trust in them. But, I also know the power of positive thinking and keeping a “pain journal” is anything BUT positive. It only focuses on the negative. So, while I’ll be journaling my little aches and pains, I’ll do so from a positive viewpoint. Why? Because I wouldn’t have these tweaks and pains if I wasn’t MOVING…if I wasn’t out there trying to make the best of a poopy situation. If I wasn’t training and working out. Let’s face it, that’s when I’m happiest.
In the last week, I’ve gone to a kick-boxing class, a T3 swim workout, completed a 5 mile jog (notice I didn’t say run), 3 physical therapy appointments and “at home” rehab, pilates class, total body conditioning class and 4 cycling workouts. Do I hurt? Um…yeah. Who wouldn’t?! But, it’s also rewarding to know that I can still do all of these things day after day. Sadly, most of the meltdown was when I attempted to run. Call it loss of power, leg numbness, whatever. I still made it through 5 miles. Yay for me!
So, I’ll be keeping the journal, but it will be “The Tri to Be Funny Some Pain, Some Gain Journal!”