I’ve checked off a lot of those “when I have some free time” projects too this past week…catching up on shows, magazines, blogs, emails and other non-essentials that can clutter our existence. I’ve written three articles this week for Livestrong.com and I’m thinking ahead and mentally manifesting goals and dreams for 2011. Lord knows, I have plenty of time to visualize, reach out to mentors, and do some goal-setting meditations.
Man, it sounds like I’ve had the most amazing week of catching up and regrouping. It has been wonderful, but I have to be honest, I also catch myself getting a little down and suffering a bit of anxiety. As an intrinsically self-motivated person, it really is difficult to just “be” and not “do.” There are some moments when I slip into a bit of a panic…”I’m not doing enough…I’m lazy…I’m getting fat…I’m not contributing…people are judging me…I’m judging myself…I should be working…I should be doing SOMETHING…” I believe they call it good old-fashioned GUILT. While I’m essentially on my butt all day, hubster is getting up, going to work, saving a few lives, coming home, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and fetching things for me when I ask. I know I’ve reached my tolerance level, but I keep thinking he’ll hit his limit any moment now. Does any of this sound familiar? I suppose that’s why, even now, I still create a daily “to-do” checklist. At the end of the day, I like to know that I’m accomplishing something…Even if that something is simply taking a shower.
So, needless to say, it’s been a topsy-turvy week of emotion. For the rest of the world, it’s a much-needed three day weekend. For me, it’s three more days of recovery. The Capital of Texas Triathlon is this weekend so I hope to get out and spectate. Nothing will inspire me more.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!