That’s It…My Days Are Numbered

I just read an article with the headline (and I quote), “Turns Out, You Can Die From Laughing Too Hard.”  Essentially, if you are unknowingly walking around with an aneurysm in your brain, one hilarious punchline can send you to the great comedy club in the sky. Turns out, we’re all potentially one fart joke away from biting the dust. 

As the article reads, “Laughter, according to various researchers, can lead to syncope (fainting), arrhythmia, and cardiac rupture. In asthmatics, laughing can trigger an attack. Laughing can even cause pneumothorax, a collapsed lung. People with cataplexy, a rare condition tied to narcolepsy, may suddenly lose all their muscle strength and collapse during a fit of laughter. An especially good laugh can make a person’s hernia protrude, or dislocate someone’s jaw. [Inkfish] “

(Sweet Jesus, please don’t ever use the words “hernia” and “protrude” next to each other again. Hello, visual.)

First, they tell me that bacon will kill me so I espouse a life of kale and beans. Then, some paleo freak warns me of the dangers of quinoa (seriously?). Now I can’t even laugh (while drinking my green smoothie) without the danger of croaking. 

Interestingly, the article also says that laughter may increase a woman’s fertility.

OK-I’ll shut the hell up now.

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